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Showing posts from February, 2015

Memories

I've been thinking about my dad a lot lately. Since he died that's been a very hard thing to do. Even now I find it almost impossible to do so without crying.  While dad was in hospital, he was visited regularly by various members of the clergy. In his last days, I think that he must have been visted by a member of the Catholic ministry because among his things that we took home was a rosary. I don't know why I kept it. I'm not Catholic. I just can't seem to part with it. It's always in my bag and goes with me wherever I go. It's crazy really. It seems to have become some sort of talisman to me. I panic at the thought of losing it. Maybe there's something symbolic in that, I don't know.  All I know is that my dad is gone, and I've lost the most important man in my life. I've lost his words, his music, his memories, his ridicuous jokes. I try desperately to hold on to the things that I remember about him so that I can share them with other

What does life hold for me in the Year of the Sheep

According to the China Post, this is my destiny for the year: You are clever, and your energetic personality will propel you to accomplish tasks with impressive results. However, remember to focus  you energy on the task at hand. Sometimes events and encounters that fluster you may provoke your innate habit of reacting instantly. It will be helpful to control your impulses.  Well, can't say any fairer than that really. Though it does feel like  the newspaper is getting on at me about my dissertation ( "focus your energy on the task at hand" )! Or maybe that's just my own guilt about not having done any work on it in a while.  I can see myself in the rest of the horoscope too. I do tend to get flustered easily and react instantly.   When I was undergoing cognitive behaviour therapy a couple of years ago, I found that I was much calmer and less likely to react instantly to situations. I ended up being very laid back, to the point of not being bothered by much a

Dad's ashes

This is the story of my sister collecting my dad's ashes from the funeral home. It is told by her. I went over on the bus to collect dad, with Jesse in his pushchair. It had occurred to me that I would need something to bring him home in, something with a flat bottom.... All I could think of was a gift bag. I rummaged through our stash in the under stairs cupboard but the only one I could find that was the right sort of size was a sparkly Santa bag. I looked at it briefly before deciding that it would be fine. It wasn't the nicest of days; rainy and cold and we were both bundled up. Before heading to the Funeral Director, whose office is by the bus stop, I went to do some shopping in tesco. Perhaps more shopping than I had intended and by the time I got out of there I had three bags and a pack of nappies hanging off the handles. It was raining even more and Jesse and I dashed down to the funeral directors and bustled into the quiet, dimly lit offices with a little less decor